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Today, I found out the reason why my mom was crying extensively a couple of months back. I talked to my eldest second cousin, from my dad's side, today and she asked me why I wasn't close to my cousins on my mom's side. I told her that they're different. Their lifestyle does not suit my brother and I's. 

My relationship with my cousins, on my mom's side, is like a camera flash and the sunlight. We just don't get along very well and we never will. They're into being popular, having boyfriends/girlfriends, being in the know, and stuff like that. Get me? as for me, and my brother, we're potatoes and we only like food and geeky stuff. 

Also as some of you may know, one of my cousins in my mom's side lived with us for a couple of years and he moved out just recently. And this is where the story begins.

I was talking to my ate (cousin) earlier today about me not being "close" to my cousins. She told me that she overheard my mom telling my tita (dad's cousin) about my other cousin (the one who lived with us/ mom's side) talking shit about my brother. She overheard that my cousin told my mom's side of the family, not including my mom of course, that my brother's not that sensitive when it comes to him being in our house. Like my kuya wouldn't notice him or ask him if he wanted to eat with him or bond with him or something. I think he wanted to seek the "special attention" from my kuya that he will never get. I never really talked about my kuya on here but do know that my kuya is a really quiet guy. He's a very nice person, quite grumpy, a bit introvert, he just sits in front of his computer all day, he reads a lot, he plays with trading cards, and he enjoys playing with his robot collection. He's that type of guy. 

I'm his sister and he never asked me to eat together with him (but he does get me food most of the time whenever he goes somewhere), he never asks how my day went, he never really spends time with me. That's just how it goes around our household and we're used to that and nobody's ever gonna change that. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me and that he doesn't love me because he does. Why am I so sure? If he doesn't, he wouldn't drive me around, he wouldn't bother to help me out with my school works, he wouldn't cook for me, and he wouldn't take care of me when I'm sick. So fuck you for telling people, especially our grandparents, all those shit about my brother. You don't know my brother, you don't know his story, and you have no fucking right to fucking do that to my brother. You've just hurt my entire family. You're an asshole and you will always be.  You are not welcome in my life and I hate you. I don't even consider you as a part of my family, you fucktard. 

My ate didn't hear the entire conversation between my mom and my tita. I'm sure that what he said about me is far worse and I'm okay with it because I'm a dipshit to him and I don't like him, even from the start. But what he said about my brother, UNACCEPTABLE. If only it's legal to kill people, I WILL FUCKING MURDER HIM AND THROW HIM IN THE DUMPSTER AND FUCKING PUT ACID ON HIS FACE. By talking shit about my brother without my consent, you will experience my wrath and I will fucking kill you in your sleep. I told my ate that I am so glad that she told me all about it. Yes, it hurts so fucking bad to hear it but it also feels so good that I finally know a part of what my mom has been crying about and what has been killing her. I love my mom but I hate her side of the family.

AND OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST A PART OF MY SENTIMENTS WHEN IT COMES TO MY MOM'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY AND IF YOU FUCKING HEAR THE WHOLE THING YOU WILL FUCKING CRY WITH ME AND PROBABLY PITY MY MOM.

Hi mom's side of the family! This is Pheng-pheng writing this down. If you wanna have a twitter war with me, feel free! Tweet me @SofiaKamrada. Or if you don't have a twitter, you can always leave me a message on my Tumblr ask. gaybacon.tumblr.com/ask . I am so ready to fucking take you all down.